In which Alex, our long-suffering Stage Manager, peers out from behind her pile of lists to explain how to make a camera out of cardboard boxes - and why her life is controlled by the whims of her Director...
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I had one of those moments during rehearsal a few weeks ago. You know the kind. The actors are playing and workshopping, and the director says: ‘And then Sam, you’ll be setting up the camera…’-
You watch for a few minutes, realise that ‘Sam, you’ll be setting up the camera’ is going to stay in the sequence, and reach for your props list.
Half an hour later, you’re going through said list with your ASM:
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Me: So, cushion for Yorick: Emily. Cloak: you. Crown?
ASM: Prop store. Hopefully.
Me: We have a perfume bottle, and we have a clipboard?
ASM: What about the camera?
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ASM: Prop store. Hopefully.
Me: We have a perfume bottle, and we have a clipboard?
ASM: What about the camera?
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Good question, ASM. What about the camera?
Well, ASM, I’ll tell you. We make the camera, and we draw upon the immortal genius of Michel Gondry to do it. Yes: like many breakthroughs, mine came while doing something totally unrelated – watching a film. And if you’ve ever seen ‘The Science of Sleep’, you’ll know when my epiphany came just a few seconds in, when one of the characters started to film his imaginary television series using…a cardboard camera.-
Me: So, what should it look like?
Director: Oh, you know...a camera.
Me: Yes...and...
Director: A big, hilarious, cartoon-ish camera.
Me: Anything more specific than that?
Director: I can make you a mood board for it, if you like?
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So, with a little help from my friend Michel, I scrounged some cardboard boxes, some black paint and some PVA glue, and I rolled up my sleeves.Brief instructions:
- Tape your boxes together (a large box for the body of the camera, a flat one on top, and a lens made of a cylinder and a small flat box). Add a handle on the side.
- Paper mache your boxes.
- Paint your camera!
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So here we have it! The finished item! After a week of smelling like PVA and being covered in black paint (sometimes I think I have the equivalent of a BA (Hons) in Painting Things Black), I can now provide the cast with a camera!
Stage one... |
Stage two... |
Ready for your close-up? |
See that, director?
Bring it on.